25+ Funny Good Morning Quotes For Friends


 “Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore.” - Rachel Caine




Best Funny Good Morning Quotes For Friends


“Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” – Rachel Caine

Mornings are from hell. That’d be so nice if we could all start our day at our leisure. Who came up with this whole working 40 hours a week thing anyway? The French are really onto something with this 30 hour work week.

Mitch Hedburg Considers a Beret.
“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it.” - Mitch Hedburg

“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” – Mitch Hedburg

Those early morning thoughts are the best. We begin to talk ourselves into the craziest things. There’s also that argument we have with ourselves about calling out for the day. Do we have the hours? Is this really worth using our hours?

Robert Frost on the Brain.
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” - Robert Frost

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

The truth is that most of us have our best thoughts early in the morning. They aren’t always about wearing berets. Sometimes we can even stop and smell the roses. By the time we walk into the office, our mind has left the building.

Bob Dole on Feeling Older.
“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” - Bob Dole

“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” – Bob Dole

Bob Dole made this observation well into his 60s. By the time afternoon rolls around, most of us feel that we could run a marathon. Anything would be better than facing those wee morning hours and the rush hour traffic.

Benjamin Franklin on Obituaries.


“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin

While it might be odd to actually end up reading your own obituary, it’s a great way to gauge your approach to the day. Unfortunately, the statistics are in and 0% of people have ever read their own obituary in the morning paper.

. Groucho Marx Once Shot an Elephant.
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.




“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx

Groucho was a master at turning a phrase and exploiting dangling modifiers. This image makes people laugh almost a hundred years later. Just imagine an elephant squeezing into some striped pajamas with a little stocking cap on his head.

. Robert Orben Wants to Be Rich.
“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” - Robert Orben

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

This morning ritual seems more logical but it’s even more unrealistic in America. With the richest 1% an ever shrinking list, the reality of becoming a newcomer is more unlikely than reading your own obituary.

Mark Twain on the Most Important Meal of the Day.
“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” - Mark Twain

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” – Mark Twain

Another day, another dollar. When you have to figuratively eat the frog, eat the biggest one first. Great advice from the father of American Literature. If you start with the biggest problem you’ve got, the day goes smoother.

Mark Twain Tells His Secret.
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” - Mark Twain

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain

It’s tough to get started when you feel like you’re eating a frog. The fact of the matter is that you have to get started despite how hard it is to take the first step. Just know that every step you take gets you closer to 5pm (or whatever quitting time might be).

. Lewis Black on Coffee’s Side Effects.
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” - Lewis Black


“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black

Coffee is the most widely used drug in the world. It’s classified as a beverage but with all the hallucinating it provides and the dependencies we develop, it should definitely be classified as a drug. Are you feeling awake yet?

T. S. Eliot on Coffee Spoons.
“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” - T. S. Eliot

“I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T. S. Eliot

Many of us can say this same thing, especially if you’re caught in the cycle of work, eat, sleep. If life can be measured so frivolously, we have to take a step back and realize that it can’t be taken all too seriously.

Ursula Le Guin on Mornings Arrival.
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

The alarm clock only signals us. Morning is going to come whether we decide to participate or not. Plus, even if you sleep in a little later, you are just delaying that inevitable wake up morning that we all dread.

. Willie Geist’s Morning Routine.
“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” - Willie Geist

“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” – Willie Geist

Everyone survives years of being a young adult by embracing this morning routine. We all remember the time we didn’t brush our hair, the time we had a shirt on inside out, or the numerous times we wore mismatched socks.

Catherynne Valente on Morning Battles.





“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” – Catherynne M. Valente

The snooze button is without a doubt our only defense against morning. Even the most expensive blackout drapes can’t stop the sun from eventually peeking through and pulling us out of bed and reluctantly onto our feet.

Picasso on Work.
“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” - Pablo Picasso

“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” – Pablo Picasso

Why did we invent the alarm clock? That is one of those impossible questions like the chicken and the egg. Which came first: The early morning work schedule for a 40 hour week or the introduction of the alarm clock.

Edward Packard on Lawyers.



“The lawyer's first thought in the morning is how to handle the case of the ringing alarm clock.” - Edward Packard, Jr.

“The lawyer’s first thought in the morning is how to handle the case of the ringing alarm clock.” – Edward Packard, Jr.

It’s never too early to make fun of lawyers. With lawyers always looking for ways to exploit everything under the sun to squeeze yet another nickel out of it, it’s no doubt they contemplate the various levels of litigation in the alarm clock.

Jackie Chan Talk Coffee.
“Coffee is a language in itself.” - Jackie Chan

“Coffee is a language in itself.” – Jackie Chan

The best part of waking up is having a warm mug of java. It’s important to enjoy that coffee. Trying to face the day without that first and supremely important conversation is like trying to enter the Kentucky Derby on a donkey.

 David Lynch on Bad Coffee.
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” - David Lynch

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch

That says it all. It’s better to suffer from whatever garbage brown water you can get your hands on than to suffer through the first few hours with no caffeine in your system. Choke down the awful stuff if you must. Don’t go to battle alone.




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